my feet, london and contemplation

In dire need

2012-02-20T23:44:00.000Z

of strength, abundance, energy, optimism and efficiency tomorrow! And then time for some peace.

My 2 AM madness

2012-02-20T01:46:00.001Z

Filmfare awards, what fun!

PS-Ranbir Kapoor's quite endearing:)

?

2012-02-19T21:51:00.001Z

We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same. -Carlos Castaneda

Lonely Hearts Club

2012-02-19T17:55:00.003Z

You sit with your best friend
in drunken wedding happiness
Lost and alone
In a city
A stranger,
Not your own anymore.

I'm in a city
I'm trying to make this home because its yours
Lost and alone
In clothes that fit awkwardly
without you.

Lonely,
We both know
what the word means now.

It's feeling a void
Even when the world surrounds you
in shops for me here, in fancy restaurants,
In 'family' gatherings for you there,
In 3-bedroom walls of silence.

Together, in one space and time
That loneliness slowly dies.
Hand in hand,
Quiet discomfort and unsettlement
makes its way
for the marathon of time,

Time just runs and comes first in the race
When we're together.

Is that what they call comfort, and maybe, love?
I don't know yet, but
Sweetheart, in this moment of time
It means an awful lot.

An hour

2012-02-19T17:47:00.001Z

in an quiet room and I go mad! Clearly don't need the me-time anymore.

The Fighter.

2012-02-19T01:40:00.000Z

Another day

2012-02-16T21:18:00.002Z

Manic manic week, not talking to family or writing makes me very irritable. There is genuinely no time, between work and being in a relationship life is way too full. Fitness desperately needs prioritising again. And what about all my grand plans to do something lovely, an idea beyond me?

Work needs to be put in its place, I can't get affected by the smallest of things! Will truly go mad. Also note to self: find the right tone between enthusiasm and letting someone else take credit for your work!

Paris, you better have some good news waiting:)

Otherwise India, India, home, Mummy, Papa, Nona, Choco, Chica...I can't wait to be in your arms!

Happy V day

2012-02-14T17:49:00.002Z

Corny, but it's nice to be able to celebrate love and emotion:) The spirit of it!

The utter truth

2012-02-13T23:25:00.003Z

Love is not about 'gestures', it's about communicating, it's about really understanding, and it's about being patient the times you can't understand.

And all the flowers in the world can't make up for that.

The World

2012-02-12T12:50:00.005Z

Indians in the UK-scary how the last few weeks have been full of death and murder, racist or otherwise. Nowhere is safe, not even supposedly the most cosmopolitan city in the world.

Whitney Houston dying at 47 is shocking too, the woman who sang the most emotive long songs, and never found it herself, reduced from grace and passion; to drugs and abuse. Popularity has dragons of its own, so the stories of superstars reveal.

India in 2 weeks!

2012-02-12T12:50:00.001Z

Can't wait:)

Ek Main aur Ek Tu

2012-02-12T12:46:00.003Z

The motto of the weekend! Funny movie, nice it acknowledges a slightly different way of seeing love evolve into something more platonic.I must admit it feels a bit flat for the Hindi buff in me though, no happy ending?? Whoops!

Can't wait for Snow Patrol this evening: fun fun fun!

Thought of the day

2012-02-10T10:15:00.001Z

Ultimately, contemplation prepares you for what comes next.

Made me smile!

2012-02-08T21:49:00.001Z

Saluting

2012-02-07T22:44:00.001Z

200 years of Dickens!

Action and Activity

2012-02-06T23:21:00.003Z

Don't give the mind a minute of rest,
Because the mind is a war zone
Always battling with itself.

Be busy, don't let the thinker in you
take precedence
Just be
And life will roll
and wave and decide.

If you don't have
the vision just yet
Let the vision come to you
in its own sweet time
Through the glasses of experience.

Exist, in the present
In a moment of time
You aren't 25 to have the
clairvoyance of a granny just yet

:)

Happy birthday Chiru!

2012-02-06T23:19:00.001Z

Hope you grow from strength to strength, and the boy in you always keeps singing!

Cricklade

2012-02-05T15:33:00.002Z

A lovely, snowy and Victorian weekend, old Hindi songs on the IPod ,a refreshing swim, some writing, yummy dinner in a warm fireplaced-dining room and reading Adele's story on the Kindle!

Good to get away from the mental-ness of work and London, for even a day:)

365 days

2012-02-04T00:54:00.001Z

since Barcelona, where it all began! To life's surprises ahead, I am ready:)

Knowledge

2012-02-01T16:59:00.001Z

Is power:)

Dadu

2012-01-31T18:59:00.002Z

You are in my thoughts at these difficult crossroads.

And January ends.

2012-01-30T11:02:00.002Z

Had a lovely weekend with 3 visits to the gym ( check), singing Karaoke, watching D sing completely out of tune and filling the evening with mushiness when everyone else 'wanted to break free':) Mentalness.

And Sunday, catching up with the old-timers for some Chinese New Year fun.

Sigh, Monday morning it is, the weekend just a memory:(

Where is our freedom of speech going?

2012-01-26T00:11:00.002Z

What sort of democracy are we, when the word democracy itself is politicised?

Rushdie not being to speak at the Jaipur literary festival makes me upset, the Congress is being East India Company, focusing so strongly on a religious vote, instead of secularism, a tenet of the Constitution, a guardian of our equal rights of expression in a truly fair State.

How can anyone be trusted?

Clint Eastwood was so right in J. Edgar, power corrupts the greatest of men, and anyone sitting in the Indian Government time and again, proves this.

Thought of the day

2012-01-26T00:03:00.004Z

Watch your words before they come out and it's too late.

Detach from work.

Create your life in the mould you want, only you can, no one else can.

Feel fulfilled, so you know when you're going to sleep at night that you've had a satisfying day.

Never forget the people who helped you along the way, to become who you are today.

Laugh, be light.

Take decisions that are informed and rational and emotional, in that they make sense to you. And stick to them. Flaky people don't get too far in their ladlidaness!

Your body and caring for it is not a chore. It's the least you can do for yourself:)

This or that?

2012-01-23T20:34:00.002Z

My free feet
Walk in reckless abandon,
I choose my hours
Of cooking or reading or seeing a lovely man
Or working in a quiet office by the river.
Sometimes, I bump into like-minded souls.
Sometimes I write,
I watch movies in theatres quiet and easy.
And live a life
Free, independent and sometimes
A little bit lost, a little bit lonely.
My step is my own,
And this I have begun to love.

And yet, another world
The one I left 4 years ago
silently whispers in my sleep,
Come back to my shelter
To the madness of family and friends
Where you can never be alone.
Where you won't be your own mistress
This I promise you,
Where you won't have such time on your hands
But you will be ensconced in the
Mad, warm embrace of what you know
Inside out.

This or that?
The decision awaits me.

A real nice weekend.

2012-01-22T17:47:00.001Z

What a full Wednesday!

2012-01-19T00:22:00.002Z

:)

PS-Thought of the day, we mock at eccentricities of people and call them clownish, and the same eccentricities we call genius and wisdom in another.

Not only in English a funny language, but human beings are a funny little lot!

The importance

2012-01-18T11:54:00.001Z

Of facing your fears!

http://chronicle.com/article/What-Are-You-Going-to-Do-With/124651/

2012-01-17T22:14:00.001Z

'But either way, either because you went with the flow or because you set your course very early, you wake up one day, maybe 20 years later, and you wonder what happened: how you got there, what it all means. Not what it means in the "big picture," whatever that is, but what it means to you. Why you're doing it, what it's all for. It sounds like a cliché, this "waking up one day," but it's called having a midlife crisis, and it happens to people all the time.'

Transformations.

2012-01-17T22:03:00.001Z

It's really time for a true paradigm shift. If I can't do it for myself, no one can.

The horizon

2012-01-17T21:30:00.003Z

Focus, drive, goals, dreams: nothing stops us from doing everything possible to make them happen.

2012-01-17T21:30:00.001Z

Walls

2012-01-17T20:39:00.003Z

I have them up,
Made of brick, yet made of heart.
In life, what you give
Is what you get.
Break down the walls
And love will flow.

Live with self-constraints
Restrictions
Boundaries
Mistrust
And live in a little prison
You create yourself.

Free your mind,
Life is not a chore.
Smile, open up, cherish the goodness
That surrounds you
And the optimism in your heart
Will wave to you invisibly
As you walk.

Call me.

2012-01-16T23:06:00.001Z

Vulnerability

2012-01-15T13:43:00.000Z

Eye-opening, embrace your imperfections.

Fry-day!!

2012-01-13T15:54:00.000Z

Yippee:)

Promises

2012-01-13T01:30:00.003Z

:O O O What are the odds of finding a song that speaks to me at 1-30 AM on a Thursday night?

'Baby could I be the rabbit in your hat?....
So promise me only one thing, would you?
Just don't ever make me promises
No promises'

Note to self!

2012-01-12T15:01:00.000Z

Stop buying things you don't need!

Home and the World

2012-01-12T00:03:00.003Z

The army and government are in a mess in Pakistan, young kids in India are alarmingly dying of malnutrition. Syria/Egypt and the Middle East battle difficult terrain, death and revolt, while the Eurozone crisis and winter make the UK and larger Europe even more unhappy in its skin.CEOs change visions for a bulkier pocket, corruption eats away at middle-class tax in bureaucratic circles. Scientists predict doomsday and economists say building booms indicate an upcoming financial crisis.

Sitting in my little room, my little mind and heart get ready to prove themselves at new-found work rife with professional jealousies and slow decision-making legacies. How will I change redundant things for the better without stepping on my predecessor's toes?

And when not directly impacted by the News of the World, these little worries are bigger,more real and where my awareness really heightens.I am told this is how our race mostly functions, what a pity!

What is the bigger picture? Being true to your own reality or realizing your issues mean absolutely nothing in the political, economic and natural complications of the world we live in?

Tomorrow

2012-01-11T23:23:00.001Z

Is a new day:) So says the optimist.

Crazy-ness!

2012-01-11T01:01:00.003Z

The craziest, most manic but truly fulfilling day at work! I love challenging the status quo, very different from a dull last week which gave me no indication of the new role, the new challenges and what the week would bring. Anything new faces opposition though, but you gotta do the right thing!

And nothing better than a lovely evening with the special man in my life, cooking, chatting, and letting the stress of the day melt away.

And the fun begins.

2012-01-09T23:03:00.000Z

Happy day!

2012-01-07T23:17:00.002Z

It's all as simple as simple and smiles, and just the right perspective in your head, think, be happy, take it easy and look ahead with the right music in your step.

Adele

2012-01-05T14:31:00.000Z

At Royal Albert Hall!

Whoooosh.

You make me an emotional fool with your heart-wrenching music.

Words of wisdom

2012-01-04T15:16:00.000Z

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer. ~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself. ~Alan Alda

Spontaneity

2012-01-04T15:07:00.000Z

Sometimes our heart's true voice.

2011/2012: Crossroads

2012-01-03T12:16:00.002Z

2011 has been transformational, someone came along and gave me all the love I craved for over the last 24 years.

Funnily enough, it also made me think,a lot, evaluate, rationalise and just let my head take over.

It also made me extremely comfortable.

It made me realise I can't focus on everything.

It made me realise I don't have a dream, how badly I want one, something that really gets me going and makes me thrive. Or subsconsciously, I know it might be writing, but in what arena do I put it into action where I might be able to help people and get feel a sense of satisfaction which my 9-to-5 job can't provide?

I want to find my passion, keep up to date with the world, read, seek, learn, travel, be there for my family, be the perrenial best friend and be a loving companion!
But that isn't easy, at all:(

While I've always theoretically beleived balance is an important word, I had to practically realise I don't seem too great at it:(

It made me realise I am such an idiotic little dreamer living in my own little world, and to fulfill my purpose on this planet, I need to go beyond.

Be brave, take decisions, and move forward--Whether it's India or London, journalism or love-writing, starting my own company or returning and being there with my lovely family.

How, why, where? I still don't know?

The search for my own truth and existence continues.Hopefully 2012 will push me to greater clarity, God knows I need it.

Memories from the Amstel

2012-01-03T11:57:00.002Z

Here goes, before my little goldfish-brain forgets!

-New Years in Museemplaan with the Dutch world and the D-man.
-The Anne Frank Musuem, heart-wrenching to see a father's eyes after he begins to understand his daughter post her death, through her words.
-The lovely flat overlooking the canal, watching GPS with Fareed Zakaria over Pizza on a rainy Amterdam January evening
-The spirit of the city, so lively and colourful, a land of 1000 bridges and 100 canals.
-Frites with yummy dressings all over the place!
-The Red Light district, human desire caged in red windows, scary and awe-ful all the same. What do the women behind them really feel, empowered, brave, real or used and numb?

Joie De Vivre

2012-01-03T11:55:00.000Z

My wish in 2012 for the whole world, if only we could feel like Christmas and New Years' everyday. If only, we all felt it....

....can be a joy of conversation, joy of eating, joy of anything one might do… And joie de vivre may be seen as a joy of everything, a comprehensive joy, a philosophy of life, a Weltanschauung. Robert's Dictionnaire says joie is sentiment exaltant ressenti par toute la conscience, that is, involves one's whole being.

New Years'

2011-12-29T00:44:00.002Z

Some feel-good fun; reinforces the fact that love makes the world go round!
And yet, someone's Facebook status puzzles my mind: Is love enough?

Contradictory thoughts, but the world only makes sense to me through both...

Wise words for the day

2011-12-27T16:25:00.000Z

“We have no rigidities, no inexorable rules. We do as we think fit, guided a little by the example of the past, but still more by our present wisdom, and by our clairvoyance of the future.” -Lost Horizon

Mind/Heart Matters.

2011-12-21T12:32:00.001Z

The heart is a funny thing, it doesn't have a mind of its own.
It waves and troughs, maybe it's the mind, maybe it's not the heart.
Maybe if the heart were solid enough, it would have a firm mind of its own.
Maybe this is my tragedy, no strong heart, failing to reign in my fickle mind.

The special one!

2011-12-21T00:05:00.001Z

She sings like a nightingale
Her eyes spot the magic in a speck of dust
Her soul reaches out to the needy
And her heart melts with love:)

Happy birthday Nonsy!!!!

Pain points.

2011-12-19T23:24:00.002Z

How can someone who means nothing in your life cause you hurt? We all have our weak spots, our Achilles' heels and our strength is tested when someone attacks those.

Someone who figures nowhere in your life can hurt your soul only if your self-confidence suffers from lowness. And that's honestly what I need to work on. I know how far I've come, no random fool has the right to make me feel NOT not my best, when everything and everyone I love only makes me feel belonged, loved and cherished; and when I know I am on the right trajectory, learning and growing to become the person I want to every single day.

Shoot every dart my way, I promise I will only get stronger and surer, ensconced in the warm embrace of the people I truly respect and love.

Writing Love

2011-12-15T00:41:00.003Z

My first 'labor of love' has all the answers to my passions, the title gives it away: writing and love.

2011-12-14T17:15:00.001Z

Need to do a lot of thinking these holidays.

Inertia

2011-12-14T14:35:00.000Z

My mind is blank. The only thing I know is I'm wasting a lot of me, hours of wastage in front of a computer that means nothing, draining my intelligence in one-word replies to random emails, administrative shit that
is mind-numbing, silly. It allows the 4 digits to smoothly flow into my account on the 25th of every month, that's all it really is, a means to an end.

Is the fact that there is no work getting to me, or is it that this just isn't my calling?

What is then?

Enunciating it is very very difficult.

It could be love, it could be writing, it could be bringing happiness to people's lives...and yet nothing in my work life affirms to any of those.

The big question is: how does one do something fulfilling, satisfying and financially viable keeping all the above in mind?

The answer, Santa Claus, is all I want this Christmas.

Some clarity below my pillow would really help.

Generalist or specialist?

2011-12-14T10:08:00.001Z

That is the question!

Love

2011-12-09T16:54:00.002Z

is a feeling which emerges from deep, deep, deep inside. It is not expressed through words and gestures, they are the external hints we can use to try and demonstrate it, but just try . The strongest love needs no language, it resides inside us, and in that silent acknowldgement to ourselves,of peace and contentment, the truth of this word is found.

The irony is, though someone else evokes that feeling, only we can know its essential truth, its real nature, its absoloute power, and that is a solitary, private emotion.

Out of the blue

2011-12-07T23:36:00.000Z

Why?

2011-12-06T22:01:00.001Z

Intuition

2011-12-06T18:58:00.001Z

has a power very palpable.

Be blessed.

2011-12-01T21:40:00.001Z

For what you have:)

December is all about:

2011-12-01T09:57:00.001Z

Writing, Kindle-ing, loving, catching up and gymming!

Choices and expectations!

2011-11-30T14:12:00.001Z

Isn't that what our 'everyday' lives come down to?

My first quiet evening

2011-11-28T21:24:00.001Z

In 6 months. What a bizarre feeling!

End of a short chapter.

2011-11-27T14:29:00.001Z

Excited about what the new holds, and upset about what happened. Shit happens.

Life

2011-11-27T10:27:00.001Z

Closes one door, to open another:)

Human pettiness

2011-11-24T22:00:00.001Z

shocks!

It's very sad;

2011-11-23T22:16:00.001Z

Why people can't genuinely be glad for someone else's happiness.

Pitfalls

2011-11-23T00:34:00.003Z

Make you cherish good times and good people even more! 25 might have started with a harsh lesson in choosing friends carefully, but I'm glad to be more discerning and more realistic about relationships bounded on trust, honesty and ethics. Refuse to be anyone's doormat moving forward.

It's amazing:

2011-11-21T16:50:00.000Z

How people use you and throw you.

And this moment's song is:

2011-11-15T23:50:00.001Z

Sinking in.

2011-11-15T19:53:00.001Z

Realising, finally, I must accept I am an adult. I can't run away to childishness anymore:)

Love

2011-11-12T20:23:00.000Z

Is peace:)

The countdown begins:

2011-11-11T14:41:00.001Z

Putty, life can be exactly what I want it to be! 25, I promise you it will be eventful, fun, dreamy, challenging!

Excited about my new mission and finding a lovely roof over my head till next August.

And the question is:

2011-11-09T12:13:00.001Z

What is your reality?

And hopefully:

2011-11-09T12:06:00.001Z

Birthday time will be resolution time.

Que sera sera!

2011-11-05T08:59:00.002Z

Whatever will be will be. All set yo write the next book, and embrace whatever comes my way!

Birthday month

2011-11-04T17:14:00.001Z

What will you bring?

Something's missing!

2011-11-04T17:12:00.000Z

But I don't know what it is:(

Mixed emotions

2011-11-04T15:06:00.002Z

Define me on the last leg of this India trip. Something is changing, discomfort sets in as the unknown shows me its face often enough in the mirror.

And yet, I am curious, I will keep looking the mirror in the eye, even if it is not the most pleasant emotion.

Searching.

2011-10-30T16:33:00.002Z

I don't know if our generation is defined by always being lost, always finding solace in a certain type of work for a while and then feeling lost again?

The work-ethic is gratifying, but work itself is not.

I wish I knew what my calling is, I wish I could chuck it all and start on a fresh clean slate, indulging in writing, not worrying about life and its ambitions, London and its promises.

Comfort Zone

2011-10-30T16:28:00.002Z

I have found mine, but I've realized I only learn and grow when I am not in one.

The dilemma is: do you stay in it or push it away, knowing your growth as a person will only emerge in difficulty?

Hazy visions

2011-10-30T16:26:00.000Z

When will they become transparent, when will a clear horizon be seen?

Yep.

2011-10-29T17:20:00.001+01:00

Absent Ink

2011-10-18T20:56:00.003+01:00

A week away, and i realise it isn't the grandness of us I miss, it's the everydayness of you fitting into my world so seamlessly. Suddenly, I am you, you are me, and this is our little brave new world.

My 24-year old carefully-built cocoon slowly opens, engulfing a future uncertain, yet so full of beautiful possibility!

My Joker

2011-10-17T22:46:00.001+01:00

I miss you!

Learning

2011-10-15T18:27:00.001+01:00

to live in the moment, its true presence!

Answers

2011-10-12T23:59:00.001+01:00

always come:)

And the word still intrigues me...

2011-10-12T23:56:00.001+01:00

A book later, the man by my side, the present,and yet... love haunts me, finding its meaning, unravelling my mind:

'Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of change
Like a fire when its cold outside
Or thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you''- John Denver

How I wish

2011-10-07T00:56:00.000+01:00

There were a few more hours in the day!

Googlespeak.

2011-09-21T23:18:00.005+01:00

Went for a lovely seminar and heard some wonderful speakers: marketers from Smirnoff to Lynx to Google to iHobo: all focusing on the fact that story-telling is at the heart of the industry, and good story-tellers will make the difference to a good campaign at its core, all that additonally matters is relevancy( insight, implementation, ideas and impact) leveraging on technology, globalisation and convergence in the world.

Given me a new perspective, perhaps the writer and the marketer in me don't have to be in disjunction, even if they do: the buzz word seems to be disruption.

Some things that stuck in my head:

-Advertising is no longer the best way to advertise your product
-Offline and online are complementary!
- The fundamentals of marketing haven't changed through the ages at all
-From interruption, its about engaging the consumer
-Fail faster, the importance of tests to the success of any campaign, 10% budget on experimentation
-Embrace the crazies!
-Collaborate, the highest paid 'hippo' in the room won't produce the best monkey!
-Line of sight model: cost, price, scale.

Recovery

2011-09-18T23:41:00.001+01:00

is all I pray for, to good news tomorrow, and good health always, my dear family.

Daddy

2011-09-15T19:52:00.003+01:00

Let all the cheer and laughter you have, engulf the pain that gnaws in your bones.

Wednesday blues.

2011-09-14T22:24:00.002+01:00

You wondered why happiness didn't make me write
My Delhi shining light,
When does my pen move,
When life puts us on
A treadmill of elation
I said too much
In brutal honesty.
Not realising
my clown
is really
an angry young man
disguised to
make me
see
What I truly feel.

For my angry hero:

2011-09-14T22:21:00.001+01:00

Sorry.

Ups and downs

2011-09-14T15:58:00.002+01:00

The road is never all smooth, ups and downs are part of life, and pit-stops should make us reflect with honesty, integrity and truth: where is the road really going?

Will a small bump roll over in green horizon-less highway, or is it indicative of rocky pebbles ahead?

Only time and life, those all-knowing twins, will tell.

Balance

2011-09-13T22:47:00.002+01:00

Love surrounds me, genuine happiness envelops me.

Yet, juggling the many facets of life, pursuing knowledge, meeting close friends, and self-discipline is so so hard.

Balance, I always knew, would be key to life's success, and now, I struggle.

Maybe tomorrow?

:)

2011-09-12T00:50:00.001+01:00

"It is at the edge of a petal that love waits."-William Carlos Williams